Posts Tagged ‘ cookies ’

Girl Scout Shenanigans!

As a kid I was always excited when the Girl Scout cookies would show up at my house. I loved the small colored boxes with those delicious cookies inside…except those ones with coconut, they tasted like shit! I haven’t bought Girl Scout cookies in years and I want to tell you why! All kids groups… Indian Guides, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts all had some type of product to sell to the neighborhood to raise funds for to pay for activities throughout the year. As a Boy Scout myself we sold Christmas wreathes and garlands. The money was the most important thing but second was the lesson learned of working and going door to door to sell our product. Besides the Boy Scout stuff I did the same thing for Cystic Fibrosis and magazine sales in Middle School. I walked my neighborhood after school, usually the kids who sold the most got some kind of prize. The CF one was the best, I won a 12″ black & white TV one year and an Oddesey 2 game system the next for having raised the most money! In 1980 this was a huge deal considering kids then didn’t have TVs in their bedrooms let alone a video game system too!! Every spoiled brat has this kind of stuff¬† today, but back then it was unheard of.

Fast forward to 2111. A girl scout hasn’t showed up on my doorstep in about 15 years or so. I wish one would because I really like those cookies! The only kids who ever come door to door are kids from the inner city who sell gummi bears for 8 bucks a box. I buy them every time for the simple reason that they got off their asses and are at least trying to do something productive. The Girl Scouts in my neighborhood obviously don’t share the same work ethic as the dirty ghetto kids. The Girl Scouts have chosen a different and much lazier business plan. I walk into the supermarket or coffee shop and am immediately shanghaied by the parents of the Girl Scouts who sit at a strategically placed table right by the front door. The parents do the sales pitch as their spoon-fed kids sit around and chit chat and text with their friends. “Would you like to buy some cookies?” with a big prozac smile, I say “no thank you” but feeling like saying, “Get those lazy little bitches off their asses and make THEM go door to door and sell the fuckin’ cookies!!”

I have talked to others about this and have been told “it’s different times than when we were kids…there’s too many weirdos nowadays”…BULLSHIT! Even though it didn’t get the dramatic headlines like it does today there have always been creeps in this world and the odds of something happening to a child are as low as they were in the 1950’s. I would never minimize crimes against children but the whole “the boogieman is everywhere” mentality is wrong and very sad!! Shame on the parents who follow this way of thought, your kids are growing up to be lazy, entitled, and fearful of the wonderful world we live in.¬† Hopefully some brave Girl Scout will come to my door so we can order some fuckin’ cookies, but I doubt it!

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