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Curbside service

I woke up a little earlier than usual this morning and drove Mrs. La Beef to pick up a rental car for and out of town trip for work. A few block from my house is the local Middle School. This was the same location as the Middle School I attended when I was that age. My Middle School was built in the early 1900’s and had a more modern wing added probably in the early 70’s . The building was heated with a steam boiler and used radiators in all the rooms. If you touched the radiator you stood a pretty good chance of getting burned but we found it fun to piss on the  ones in the lavatories thus making the whole place stink like burning urine. There was no air conditioning but we survived. Since my days of middle school my old alma mater has been leveled and replaced with an enormous building that looks more like a prison than a school. I guess it has all the 21 century bells and whistles people deem important for child development, I think it’s a crock of shit and a total waste of public dollars…but what the fuck can I do about it? Let’s face it fancy schools don’t make smarter kids. Most of the kids in the 12-14 year old bracket don’t know how to do the simple tasks we handled at a much younger age ie. using a lawn mower, remembering phone numbers (without a cell phone),  or cooking their own food.  A scary nationwide trend of spoon-fed Mama’s lap children is looming!

Now that you know where I’m coming from I will get to my point of this morning’s drive. As we approached the school the traffic was in deadlock. From all directions mini-vans and luxury SUVs  were converging in an out of the school parking lot. Women looking bewildered as they talked on their Iphones waiting for their zoloft to kick in. I did see one “brave” kid walking. As I was fuming inside my stopped idle car I kept asking myself what ever happened to walking or riding a bike to school? My friends and I all found our own way to school and would be embarrassed as hell if we had Mommy drop us off. Some kids lived over 2 or 3 miles away. We always arrived a little early to shoot the shit at the bike racks. I remember some of the 8th grade kids having mopeds which we thought were about the coolest thing ever! I checked the BMV laws and kids can still get a moped license at age 14, but I haven’t seen a kid riding one in 2 decades? I can only figure that the brain dead soccer moms of the world have deemed them to “dangerous” and to let your kid ride one would be social suicide for the parents, always staying within the cookie cuter confines. We would hang at the bike rack and eat candy and trade things like dirty magazines, pocket knives, and ninja stars Some of us even would smoke cigarettes, and as long as it wasn’t in the building it went practically unnoticed. We were independent, we were latch key kids, we were learning to handle the real world, so what about the kids today? In my opinion their safe, mothering parental cocoon may as well be the coffin for their development into a independent, functioning adult. Hopefully trends will change but at least 1 generation seems to be doomed.

Check out this cool moped video! I bet that bitchin’ moped got Mike laid!! Mike obviously had good parents!